


send out a flare and you know i'm gonna light you home

by howveryzoe



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: M/M, basically makes no sense without that one, i didn't really proofread, im weak so it's not sad, post part 2, sequel to "the shadows part and the clouds will drift away", some weird religious imagery sorry, this is short and just sort of like gay idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howveryzoe/pseuds/howveryzoe
Summary: "Curiouser and curiouser, Am i the same as I was when I woke up this morning?"Sequel to "The Shadows Part and the Clouds Will Drift Away" but just sort of Dizzee and Thor reflecting





	send out a flare and you know i'm gonna light you home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elmrook196](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elmrook196/gifts).



> Thanks to Elmrook196 for forcing me to write this I hope you like it.  
> Title from "Burn All Night" by Andy Mientus and the Teen Commandments  
> So there's some Weird Religious Imagery surrounding Dizzee in this and like if it's uncomfortable GOOD that's how everyone else feels when people write Dizzee as idolizing Thor as a God which is weird and kinda racist please stop.

Thor had never hated the sight of a train more in his life. The sleek metal, the beautiful colors adorning the sides, the tags, the dents, the shrieking, chugging sound it made. It all had once given him joy but now was repulsive to him. He wanted to curse the inventor of the train. Wanted to damn him and the NYPD and the MTA and Ed Koch, and President Carter, and everyone in America into hell. This was the end of the world. He hated himself most of all, for agreeing. But Dizzee was so damn convincing. How could he say no to a kid who’d just had his brother arrested before his eyes? What warning could Thor possibly give he didn’t already know? He’d thought if he’d tagged along he could’ve at least sort of kept him safe. Yet here he was. Screaming ‘til his throat was raw, tears streaming down his face. The cop’s grip on his arms was tight and hurting his shoulders. His feet trying to run to no avail. The grief was overwhelming like he was drowning in his own lungs. He’d had this nightmare, in jail. But Rumi would appear out of the rubble. Yet now the little green alien was nowhere to be seen. Oh God, this was the end of the world.

Then he sees it. The train is out of the way and something is moving. It’s subtle at first but soon his breath catches as the head raises above the tracks, like a body rising from a coffin. Slowly but surely, the form begins to pull itself up and he can see him. Standing there, face covered in dirt, but alive. Gloriously alive. The light from the headlights of the squad car illuminate him, giving his whole body a golden glow. He stands there staring ahead blankly and Thor thinks he looks ethereal. All those years at Church seem to have rubbed off and the words “I am the resurrection and the life” seem to pop into his head like the good Brooklyn Catholic boy he is. Dizzee’s eyes are blank and he looks like he’s in a trance. If Thor hadn’t known better he would’ve said he’d taken PCP again. He’d fell into the tracks an alien. He’d arisen a God.

The cop next to him gasps and Thor feels the grip loosen on him. For his own part he can’t even run. Can just stand there shocked, tears drying on his cold cheeks. It was impossible. A miracle, maybe. But real, he knew it was real or the policemen around him wouldn’t be standing in such shocked silence. They wouldn’t have let him stop to mourn Dizzee’s death. The standstill of justice could only be the result of the supernatural.

For Dizzee’s part, he doesn’t even know what to think. The adrenalin of the moment is wearing off a little though he still feels his heart pumping and himself shaking. Where to go? There’s such freedom in being alive. The light is in his eyes and the cops are staring right at him but he feels they can’t hurt him. Not now. Not in this strange suspended instant. He was wrong, there’s a fourth act to this opera.

It’s Thor who first comes to his senses and with a quick bolt pulls himself free of the cop, leaving his jacket behind. The cold, winter wind stings his arms but he’s up before anyone has time to notice and racing towards Dizzee. Then all of a sudden everything is shocked back into life and the cops out of their trance, speeding after him. The chase is back on.

“Thor!” Dizzee shouts and extends his hand anxiously, he’s not letting them get separated now. Not ever. Thor’s hand grabs his tightly and they're running in the same perfect unison as before. He never wants to let go, he knows that now. This may be all he has left. Who knows? Life is short.

They’re dashing down the dark dirty tunnel, but it’s like there’s not even a contest. The cops are so far behind by now. Even with Dizzee’s shaking, exhausted knees and Thor’s limping, unsteady legs, they’ve outrun them. It’s not long before Dizzee spots an empty tunnel and points it out.

“This way, come on!” He yells to him and, they’re dashing to the side, quickly. Another train is coming in and the chase is done. They’re as safe as they can be now. They keep running though, deeper into the tunnel, farther from the light and the wind and the world. Finally, Thor collapses to the floor and Dizzee with him. They sit there for a second, backs against the black wall, breathing in the darkness. Catching their breaths.

“We lost all that paint back there.” Dizzee says after a moment.

“Are you fucking serious?” Thor replies, half laughing, half gasping. “We almost die and you worry about SPRAY PAINT?” He shakes his head, blown away. “Why didn’t you die? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled but…”

“I lay flat.” Dizzee tells him. “And the train rolled over me. Funny huh?” 

“That’s one way to put it. You’re lucky to be alive.” Thor says, harshly.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” Dizzee tells him in a sobering moment. “And I shouldn’t joke about it.” He leans over to place his head on the other boy’s shoulder.

Thor says nothing, only places his head atop Dizzee’s and lets them breathe there for a moment together. Feeling the polluted air of the subways in their desperate lungs.

“How do you feel?” He asks him after a moment.

“Curiouser and curiouser. Am I the same as I was when I woke up this morning?” Dizzee responds, eyes alight with wonder. 

“I would peg you as more  _ Wizard of Oz  _ than _ Alice In Wonderland _ .” Thor tells him but he’s smiling brightly now and Dizzee knows the tension is over.

“Are you alright?” He asks him. “The cops grabbed you real hard.” Thor shakes his head again.

“You nearly died and you asking me if I’m alright? Shit, my shoulders hurt and I think I twisted my ankle or something but I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” 

“I’m fine.”

“You're shaking.” 

“I'm  _ fine.  _ I'm alive aren't I?” Thor can only nod to that and Dizzee looks at him intently now as the other boy begins wiping his face clean of tears. He squeezes his other hand tightly. I'm here, he wants to tell him, it's alright I'm alive and here. It's over.

It isn't over really and Dizzee knows that better than anyone. This won't be the last they'll see of the cops for sure. And Boo Boo is still gone. Even trying to think about that makes his chest ache. He wants to go back in time. Do something, stop someone. He's so fucking useless. He was supposed to protect him. Everything has fallen apart.

“You're bleeding.” Thor says, and Dizzee looks down to find his hands and knees skinned and bloody. He realizes some blood is trickling down his face too, must've cut himself on his way down. He hadn't even felt it til now. Too much happening at once.

“Oh yeah, shit. I guess that's how you know I'm real.” He smiles again, like an idiot, his heart rate beginning to slow down. “You're bleeding too.” He notes and Thor looks at his own hands, which were sliced open from grabbing the fence from before. He remembers back in the loft when he'd been painting Thor he'd noticed he had new scars. From the dogs, he had told him, and a few fights in jail. 

“It's not much.” Thor says, and his face has become slightly bloody from wiping his hand on it and Dizzee can't help but think he looks a little like when they'd painted each other. Though far more garish. Thor picks up Dizzee’s cut hand in his. “Guess you're in my blood now for real huh?”

Dizzee smiles and kisses him right there. Dry, dirty lips smiling into each other. He'd missed this so much when Thor was locked up. Was still getting used to the accessibility of his kisses. The freeness of them. No one can stop them in the darkness of the subway.

“You not worried about getting alien blood in you?” He laughs and Thor shakes his head.

“Nah. It's probably just gonna make me have powers or something. Maybe you'll give me super strength.” That sounds like something out of one of Ra Ra’s comic books and he has to kiss him again for it. He pulls himself into Thor’s lap, his legs framing either side of him, feet pushed up against the wall.

“That was our best work back then.” He tells him, thinking of the train. “We've really done it, made something immortal. Today the subways tomorrow the constellations.” 

“Unless Koch paints it over.” Is Thor’s glum response and Dizzee has to roll his eyes and scowl slightly.

“Why do you gotta be like that right now? Didn't we just get away?”

“Just. You almost died. I was so sure you did. It was...” He pauses and his eyes are earnest and pained. “It was the worst feeling in the whole world.”

“Are you guilting me into staying alive?” Dizzee jokes but Thor’s face is still serious and he can tell the nonchalance is annoying him. “Because my parents already tried that with us and it did no good. I'm not living without my art.”

“No! I just...I love you. I've been in love with you for so long it feels like a part of me now. And I never want anything bad to happen to you if I can help it. I want to protect you from everything because I love you. All of you. Marcus, Dizzee, Rumi, I love it all.” 

The words hang in the air with great weight and from his expression Dizzee can tell this was hard to say. He realizes that, of course, Thor hadn't seen his hallucination. He didn't know that Dizzee knew. That they weren't just a crush and passionate kissing and loving each other’s work. They were love. And that made all the difference. 

“I love you too. Of course I do. I've loved you just as long and just as deeply.” He tells him and the words make Thor smile and look down bashfully in that way he always did. Like he didn't deserve Dizzee’s words. He buries his face in Thor’s shoulder and Thor wraps his arms around him. They sit there for a minute. Taking each other in, feeling each other’s closeness and safety. Its affection with nothing desired in return. Only comfort, tenderness, and love. “You lost your coat, you must be cold.” Dizzee whispers to him.

“I'm just happy to have gotten away. I couldn't do another three years in that place.”

“Still,” Dizzee says, “It's freezing you've got to be cold.”

“We’re underground, it's warmer here. I'm fine really.” And Dizzee nods and says nothing. “We should get going. They could still come looking for us or we could get caught by another group.”

“No, let's stay a little bit longer. I'm not ready to go back.”

“Rumi it's disgusting here.” Thor laughs but Dizzee isn't laughing with him.

“I think the subways are like outer space. All darkness and nothingness. No rules, no certainty. I can be who I want. We can be together. Outside we have to be who they say we are but in here, in motion, we're not bound to earth like mortals. We're rocketing about the stars. We're shooting through the galaxy and don't you think that's beautiful? We're free.” His face is bright and sweaty and love is in his eyes. He doesn't want to go back to the world above. The realities and constraints and pains. He wants this. He wants him.

“But you're free at the club right? I mean that's what we said right? The free people.” Dizzee can only shake his head sadly at that. Thor will never truly understand.

“ _ You're  _ free at the club. Not me. They look at me like I'm as alien as they do in the Bronx. I'm too Bronx for the club and too queer for the Bronx. I'm always trapped between two worlds.” His cheeks heat up, it's hard to explain this to Thor, but here he is laboring over his words, at least trying.

“Okay but what about my loft? You're free there. We can just go there. Stay as long as you want.” The idea is tempting and Dizzee pulls himself closer to the other boy, letting them both bask in each other’s smiles. But he knows he can’t. His parents will worry and they don’t deserve this tonight. He has to try and see if they can visit Boo or maybe even if he’s been released (he can hope at least). And his dad is getting suspicious of where he’s always disappearing off to. If Ra makes one “he’s with that white boy,” the gig is up for good. His dad can see through him in a second. And like it or not he doesn’t know what that would lead to. No, he should go home. Do as he’s supposed to for once. 

“I gotta go home bro. I can’t have my parents worrying.” Thor groans in response and lets his head loll backwards against the wall.

“Just call and say you’re safe but staying at a friend’s house. That you need room to breathe or whatever. They’ll understand.” 

“You’ve been out of your parents house too long dude. They don’t understand shit.” Dizzee laughs and scratches his head, sighing.

“Alright so what? It can't be that big a deal. Come back, I need you right now. Is that such a sin?” Thor asks and of course the answer is yes. Yes, it's a huge deal. A huge sin in a million senses. But so what? He's exhausted, mentally and physically. So what if they get mad, his parents are always mad. At least he'll get some fun out of it. And he's not going to take the smile off of Thor’s face. After a moment he lets his head nod almost off of his own accord and touches the other boy’s face gently.

“When we went to the club you said we could be birds. I’m sorry that I always think bigger and want to be shooting stars but I can’t help myself. A bird can only go so high and always seems confined to its cage. I want to touch the moon and I want to take you with me. We can scrape the very edges of the galaxy and everything would be in technicolor.” His words are soft and meaningful and he wonders if this is some sort of roll credits scene in the movie of their life. 

“What do you mean?” Thor asks and there’s no judgement or ridicule in his tone. It’s an innocent question. Dizzee smiles and leans in.

“I’ll come back with you. I’ll stay forever maybe.” Dizzee says it like a secret and maybe it is one. Maybe it’s the greatest secret he’ll ever has. It’s precious and special and singular. “If that’s alright with you?”

“That’s perfect with me.”

They stay there. Smiling. Taking each other in. In a minute or so they’ll dust themselves off and head back to Chelsea and soon reality and consequences and fear. But not now. Now they’re just two psychic boys, lying peacefully in the heart of the city. The trains pumping like the blood in their veins and the rattling and shrieking serving as a soundtrack. They’re in a galaxy far far away and who are we to distrub them?

 


End file.
